hello world, forgive me if I'm young.

Hey y'all!

I'm aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive! I survived the apocalypse, hoyeah, feels good. :3 I feel very blessed. God has given us a chance to live and repent and do His will, so yeah, very thankful for that :} 

How are y'all? ok?

well, i've been fine. actually no, lol, but basically fine.

Next week is the last week of school holidays....eep.

having mixed emotions about it. so..2012. in the blink of an eye, 2012 is now coming to an end. It's actually scary how fast time seemed to pass this year. Say hello to the repetitive routine of waking up early and going to school and yada yada yada. Teachers. Homework. Blegh. I guess i'm a tad bit excited to go back to school, i'm honestly looking forward to PMR year. it's gonna be one heck of a bumpy ride but i'm sure it's worth it :) And of course, i'm definitely excited to see my awesome bunch of friends again ♥

2012. what a year it was! Full of drama and heartbreak and tests and stress and messiness. Nevertheless, i learnt a lot from the stupid mistakes i've done this year, and gained a lot of good, true friends whom i know will be there to support me no matter what. The stuff i went through in 2012 was sort of like a wake up call for me. I've realized how stupid and inconsiderate and selfish i can be, but i've also realized how sometimes i'm a bit too lenient and nice, i guess. So, i've learnt  to speak up and say what i wanna, but at the right time and place. yeah. I just hope 2013 will be a better year for me. hopefully drama and tear free. I just wanna focus on studying, i really want those 8A's so badly. and i know i cant get those 8A's without sacrifice and hard work, and i know it's gonna be really tough for me next year. but i can do it. i know i can. and i hope Allah will help me be strong and guide me throughout. 

sigh. i really wish i could just rewind time and undo the silly mistakes i've made...but i can't. so i'll have to live with it.

and, I'm also sick of feeling sorry for myself. I've got to stop wallowing in self pity..i've got to pick myself up and march on. It'll be hard as hell, but it's gonna be worth it. Life is worth it. 

and also another lesson i've managed to extract from this year, was this: My past does not define who I am. My present does. I may have been who i was before, but right now, here, in this moment, i am Me. I am who i want to be, and no one can stop me. 

(((((lol i got that from Total Recall. Great movie!!)))))

moving on, (like we always should), next year i doubt i'd be able to be online as often as i am this year. you know, since i have to concentrate for PMR and all. so this may be my last post until like....after PMR? Just know that i'm still alive, aight? x)

So...Christmas is near! Of course, I don't celebrate Christmas but i love the Christmassy aura they have here in Malaysia. Well...not really actually. It doesn't snow here, which sucks but heyyyyyy, they sell the most awesome chocolates during Christmas hehe :p

and after Christmas is New Year...ah. Again, just thankful i get to see another year start. Oh and of course, New Year's resolution! i have one every year and i always fail to fulfill it aha ha. But i'll just list it down anyway :3

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION

1. Be a better Muslim

2. Be a better daughter

3. Be a better friend

4. Be a better person

5. Help a total stranger

6. Speak fluent French (yes this has been on my list since i was eight ok)

7. Be neater!

8. Be Nicer

9. be straightforward

10. Be a better student

11. Do all my homework ((((this neva eva works))))

12. get 8A's for PMR

13. Write more often

14. Be more disciplined

15. Perform in front of a large audience

16. NOT give a damn what anyone thinks

17. Be myself

18. Dance in the rain ((((alone cuz im cool liddat)))

19. Eat less

20. Try to win a medal for Road Run (((i did it this year i can do it again, right?)))

21. get full attendance!!!!

yeahhhhhh i think that's it... Nothing quite extreme. This is after all, just a new year's resolution...not my bucket list. My bucket list currently has 376 things.... :} 

is it wrong of me to wish that I could get a New Year's kiss? :p looool, joking la. I can't kiss anyone, In my religion it's haram to touch a guy who isn't married to you. :p

Dup dee dup dee dup. 

ooh! I started doing a song book :D it's just a notebook where um i write songs...they suck. Heh. But, it actually really helps. Usually when i'm feeling sad or depressed i grab that book and i just start writing, trying to explain how messed up i'm feeling in the lyrics. So, yeah, it really does help! It doesn't even matter how sucky the lyrics are haha, i just...it helps. heh. 

and also, i saw on tumblr, some people are starting this thing where they set a jar aside, and they put in what wonderful memories they had on a piece of paper into the jar, then at the end of year, they'll open it and see how awesome 2013 was. I'm thinking of starting that but hmm...i'm just scared 2013 won't be memorable :p But maybe i'll try it out, hopefully.

eh, nothing much more to say now.

since this is my last post in a long, long time, i shall make my goodbye a grand one...

BYE BYE SUCKAS PRAY FOR ME PRAY THAT I GET 8A'S OKAIZ I LUV U IF U'RE READING THIS U ROCK I STONE YAH OK BYE LOVES XOXO

Eisyah Faridah, signing out like a boss.