everything I can't say out loud

Dear you,

We met on April 2nd, 2019, close to three years ago. I know we said we would take our time, take things slow, but looking back, it all went so fast. We went from being complete strangers to seeing each other everyday and spending every spare time we had with each other. We became a couple within four months of knowing each other. 

But I don't regret it, truly. That love that I had for you, it was meant to be that way. Finding you, meeting you, I knew that that kind of love was meant for me and you. 

You were such a big part of my life. The biggest part of my life apart from my family. My go to person for everything, all my rants, my stupid little bits about what funny or silly thing happened in my day. And through it all whenever I had the chance to go out I would always choose to spend it with you because I honestly would rather see you.

Loving you was easy.

It almost came like second nature to me.

You were the kindest, most understanding, most patient person I'd ever been with. 

Which is why it's sad to admit, or to see how things have unfolded now; proof of how incompatible we are.

I feel that we were drawn together because of how similar we were, and in finding similarity we thought we found understanding, comfort in knowing someone thinks the same way. But after a while, I think that those similarities are what blinded us, maybe that's all we saw to the extent that we couldn't see ourselves, as individuals, outside of our similarities.

I'm not here to hash out the bad things, because truthfully those are what plague my mind the most nowadays. But now that we've spent time apart, the most we've had in the 3 years I've known you, I suppose it's enough distance to make me miss you and see slightly past the bad things. It feels so strange now not having you to go to to update about every minor and major detail of my life.

But I guess I'm just here to say, you are a remarkable person. Outside of our relationship and how I knew you, as a person, you are remarkable. You're kind, you care about people, you're perceptive and smart and you're incredibly loyal. You try your best always. You don't show it much but you're a family person.

I used to wish you could see yourself the way I see you. 

I'm eternally grateful that I got the chance to love you, and to be loved by you. No one else will ever come close. I know a lot of people say what they say, but deep down, I know no one will ever care for me the way you did. 

But I don't regret letting go either. Our time had come. And that's just what happens sometimes.

I know you don't believe me when I say this because you dont believe in the concept of loving someone from a distance, but that's what I'm doing with you. I don't stop loving someone once I start, and I will always love you, care about you, wonder how you're doing. But I know it's best, for both of us, for me to do it from a distance.

Maybe one day life will bring us back together again, and we'll be good for each other. But even if it doesn't happen, I'll still always be grateful knowing that I had the chance to have a love like you. 

I'll love you, always, and I'll miss you, forever.

Love,

Eisyah