Late night thoughts
2.58 A.M.
When i broke off from my first long term relationship, a thought that crossed my mind a lot was, "what if i never find someone who can love me like he did?" I used to think that was a bad thing, the most horrible thing, actually. To never come across someone who could stand me and tolerate me and love me the way he did. At the time, I was convinced that no one else would be able to do that other than him. But now I've come to realize, that its not a bad thing. Not at all. The thing is, we never find the same love twice. And that's completely okay. Every single time you fall in love, its different. A different experience.
I've fallen in love three times. The first time, I fell fast. I dove right into it, recklessly. But what we had was comforting, because at the time we were in high school together and my naive, 16 year old self led me to believe that we would make it through anything. But things changed, we both changed and life drifted us apart from each other. The second time I fell in love, was even faster. I'd like to think that I didn't fall into it, I sort of found it in myself. I was convinced he was my soulmate, even, because of the way we clicked so well and how easy everything was. But the odds and situational circumstances weren't on our side, and God, it was even more painful than whatever I went through the first time I fell in love. It's the kind of pain that consumes you. It definitely wasn't anything like my first love, but it was still love. Different, no doubt, but still love. The third time I fell in love, I took my time falling. We both took our time getting to know each other before letting ourselves delve completely into it. And that love is currently my boyfriend, and the love that I have for him is something I've never felt before. It feels more wholesome, more matured and more complete, and honestly, i can't really put into words how irrevocably in love I am with him. He makes my world brighter and all the planets align. Cliche stuff like that, ya know.
The number of times you fall in love doesn't reduce how much you loved the ones before. If anything, I'd like to think that all the past loves you had are lessons for you to love better the next time.
I guess it all boils down to why you're together in a relationship and why you want to stay in that relationship.
Stay because you want to keep choosing them everyday. Stay because you want to grow with them. Stay because you feel like the best version of yourself around them and you feel like they're at their best around you too. Stay because you want to fix things as a team and go through it all with them.
If you're staying because your scared of losing the comfort, the routine of being in a relationship, or if you're staying purely because you fear the thought of never having someone who can love you like they did, please don't. It's unhealthy for the both of you. Truthfully, if that's the reason why you're staying, it wont last long because you're not staying because you love that person, you're staying because you love the idea of a secure thing in your life.
So if you ever fear leaving someone because you're scared that you wont find someone who'll love you like they do, don't. You will always find love. Or rather, love will always find you. Just because it's different, doesn't mean it's bad. Remember that.
Disclaimer: I'm not a relationship counselor or whatever lol, these are just my thoughts based on my past experiences. If you disagree then I completely respect that. In fact, if you have any disputes, feel free to talk to me about them! I'm always welcome to listening to other peoples opinions on things. Hit me up on twitter and insta if you'd like to chat: @sodiumfine_
When i broke off from my first long term relationship, a thought that crossed my mind a lot was, "what if i never find someone who can love me like he did?" I used to think that was a bad thing, the most horrible thing, actually. To never come across someone who could stand me and tolerate me and love me the way he did. At the time, I was convinced that no one else would be able to do that other than him. But now I've come to realize, that its not a bad thing. Not at all. The thing is, we never find the same love twice. And that's completely okay. Every single time you fall in love, its different. A different experience.
I've fallen in love three times. The first time, I fell fast. I dove right into it, recklessly. But what we had was comforting, because at the time we were in high school together and my naive, 16 year old self led me to believe that we would make it through anything. But things changed, we both changed and life drifted us apart from each other. The second time I fell in love, was even faster. I'd like to think that I didn't fall into it, I sort of found it in myself. I was convinced he was my soulmate, even, because of the way we clicked so well and how easy everything was. But the odds and situational circumstances weren't on our side, and God, it was even more painful than whatever I went through the first time I fell in love. It's the kind of pain that consumes you. It definitely wasn't anything like my first love, but it was still love. Different, no doubt, but still love. The third time I fell in love, I took my time falling. We both took our time getting to know each other before letting ourselves delve completely into it. And that love is currently my boyfriend, and the love that I have for him is something I've never felt before. It feels more wholesome, more matured and more complete, and honestly, i can't really put into words how irrevocably in love I am with him. He makes my world brighter and all the planets align. Cliche stuff like that, ya know.
The number of times you fall in love doesn't reduce how much you loved the ones before. If anything, I'd like to think that all the past loves you had are lessons for you to love better the next time.
I guess it all boils down to why you're together in a relationship and why you want to stay in that relationship.
Stay because you want to keep choosing them everyday. Stay because you want to grow with them. Stay because you feel like the best version of yourself around them and you feel like they're at their best around you too. Stay because you want to fix things as a team and go through it all with them.
If you're staying because your scared of losing the comfort, the routine of being in a relationship, or if you're staying purely because you fear the thought of never having someone who can love you like they did, please don't. It's unhealthy for the both of you. Truthfully, if that's the reason why you're staying, it wont last long because you're not staying because you love that person, you're staying because you love the idea of a secure thing in your life.
So if you ever fear leaving someone because you're scared that you wont find someone who'll love you like they do, don't. You will always find love. Or rather, love will always find you. Just because it's different, doesn't mean it's bad. Remember that.
Disclaimer: I'm not a relationship counselor or whatever lol, these are just my thoughts based on my past experiences. If you disagree then I completely respect that. In fact, if you have any disputes, feel free to talk to me about them! I'm always welcome to listening to other peoples opinions on things. Hit me up on twitter and insta if you'd like to chat: @sodiumfine_
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