Blink

BLINK

(Part i)

Cold, the world felt so cold. Without him, life wasn't worth living. He was the fire in my life. The only one that kept me going. Now he's gone, the fire's out, and all of the warmth I had when he was still around was now gone along with him. I was cold.

I remembered all those wonderful memories we had had together. We had known each other since we were in high school, Aaron and I. He was the quiet, social outcast. While I, on the other hand, was the popular, golden girl in school. A straight A student with the perfect figure and looks, all the guys were after me, and I basked in the attention they gave me. I loved being the queen of the school, and like any other typical teenage bimbo, I believed the "friends" I had gained would never leave my side. Oh, how naive of me..

Though I had my pick of the boys lining up for me, Aaron, that awkward, quiet dweeb, had caught my eye. I don't know what it was about him that had caught my eye, but all I know is, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I still remember how we met. 

It was another boring school day, me and my clique were multitasking like professionals, walking, laughing, gossiping and sucking in our stomachs and trying hard to look pretty. We had a reputation to keep up. As I was walking, suddenly, BAM, Someone had bumped into me, and all my books were scattered on the floor. I looked up to scream at the person who had obviously not been watching where they'd been going, when i saw the face of an angel. He must've been my age, and he was wearing those nerdy type of circular glasses, but the eyes behind those glasses were simply amazing. those Green, sea green eyes looked back into mine with such intensity my bones started turning into jelly. And that gorgeous blonde locks of his, wow. just wow. He cleared his throat and snapped me out of my oggling. I cleared my throat too and put on my "Queen Eliza" face.. "Well?" I said, snobbishly. He lifted an eyebrow. "What?" he responded. oh, his voice....it was so heavenly. I gave him a superior look. "What do you have to say for yourself?" 

He scratched his head, that blur look on his face was so cute. "sorry..." he mumbled, and bent down to pick up my books. I stood there, with my arms folded across my chest, as my girls laughed and snickered behind me. Really, I was admiring the way his arm muscles tensed up when he slowly, one by one, collected my books and arranged it neatly in a pile. Then, he stood up, shot me a goofy smile and handed it to me, with a polite, "Here you go, sorry once again." I bit my lip from saying ridiculous things that would ruin my image. I rolled my eyes and turned my back on him. "Let's go girls," I called out and marched ahead, ignoring him. Days later, I managed to find out his name was Aaron.

Since the day he entered my life, he never left my mind. He was all I could think about. His green eyes.... they pierced through my soul.

Everyday, I would see him sitting all by himself, at a table in the corner of the cafeteria. He didn't seem upset though, even though he obviously had no friends. He was as happy as a clam, enjoying his food as though his life was on someone else's shoulder. Nobody knew much about him, he wasn't exactly a star student, yet, at the same time, he didn't seem to be a troublemaker either. I wished i could get to know him. But, the stupid, eighteen year old me thought my reputation was more important, and therefore made no move to become his friend.

One grey afternoon, as I was walking alone from the cafe to my house, it started to rain heavily. I took cover at a bus stop nearby and decided to wait out the rain there. I sat, pulled out my iPod and put in my earphones. Volume at it's loudest, I started playing my favorite songs. My all time favorite: I'm just a kid, by Simple Plan. 

I lost myself in the music I was listening to. Music was my escape. Suddenly, I felt a tap at my shoulder. Startled,  I jumped and my ipod fell to the floor. I hurriedly picked it up and checked to see if it was still working. Luckily, it was. "what is your-"

It was him, Aaron. He was looking down at me and grinning like a fool. As usual, he looked perfect. His circular glasses looked slightly out of place, and his hair was wet and messy. His breathing was irregular like he'd been running. "Oh," I said, meekly.

"Hey!" He greeted with a smile. That smile made my heart skip a beat. I mentally shook my head and glared at him. "What do you want?" He laughed. "Oh, nothing. I spotted you sitting here and I was wondering what you were doing, all by yourself," he said. "Listening to music,"he noted. 

I let out  very unlady-like snort. "Yeah, well. It's raining. I'm waiting for it to stop," I said, talking to him as though he was a toddler, struggling to understand. He smiled and nodded. "so am I! I guess we can wait together?" He didn't wait for an answer and plonked himself on the bench. I continued standing and glaring at him. He saw that I was still standing and frowned. "Well, whatchu standing there for? Go ahead, sit," he told me. I rolled my eyes. "Not with you on it," I told him. Aaron lifted an eyebrow. "what? Why not?"

I stomped my foot and cursed. "Because i hate you!" I burst out. His facial expression morphed into that of pain and hurt. I turned away and resisted the urge to start crying. That's not what i wanted to say. I was meant to say I loved him. My words had failed me, as it always had.

From behind me, I heard him whisper, "You hate me?" I stayed silent and watched the rain pour, droplets of water coming from the grey clouds above. He spoke again, "why?" Again, I didn't say or do anything. The sound of clothes rustling and footsteps indicated that he was now standing. The footsteps got closer..and closer...and it came to a stop right behind me. "Why do you hate me, Eliza?" He was so close to me that I could smell his breath. It smelt of mint, was that a surprise?

I bit my lip and turned around. Finally, face to face, in private. Yet,  the words I wanted to say since the day I met him just couldn't leave my mouth. I gazed into his green eyes, losing track of the world and my problems. All I knew was the fact that Aaron and I were only 2 feet apart from each other, and I wanted to close the space between us. I breathed in his scent, he smelt like... a cross between chocolate and something musky..like wood.

Why do you hate me, Eliza?" he asked again, bringing me back to reality.

"It's not..I..I don't hate you..." I whispered back, struggling with my words. He stared at me, and I couldn't read his expression. "We've only met once. What did I do which was so bad until you say you hate me and you're cringing away from me like this?" he questioned.

I bit my lip and willed my heart to stop beating so fast. This was the first time I've felt like this, and for the first time in my life, i simply didn't know what to do.

I closed my eyes and gulped. I wish I could disappear, but at the same time I never wanted to leave Aaron's side. I felt something delicately grip my hand. The warmth of his hand on mine gave me strength, and when I opened my eyes, his face was directly in front of mine. I stared back at him, drinking in his presence. "You can tell me..." he said. "I won't be mad."


"I'm just scared you'll freak out..." I muttered. One side of his lips tilted upwards, forming a half smile. "I won't freak out. I promise. I just want to know why you hate me because I certainly don't hate you..." he trailed off. His last sentence formed butterflies in my stomach. "Pinky promise?" I asked him, holding out my pinky finger. He grinned and curled his pinky around mine. "Pinky promise," he assured me.

I cleared my throat, licked my lips and mentally shook my head. Alright, I can do this, I told myself. Confess everything, regret nothing. and so I told him. How i felt about him even though we've only talked once. How miserable I was everyday, when I see him but I couldn't talk to him. He listened to every word I said without speaking. once in a while, he'd nod or smile just to show me he was listening.  And when i was done, he let go of my hand and turned his back to me.

I knew this would've happened, I told myself. He's freaking out! I sighed. "You're freaking out, aren't you?" I asked him, my voice bitter. He turned around, looked at me, and started laughing. I frowned at him. He was being delirious.

"Why are you laughing?" I demanded, blushing. I felt like a complete idiot. "It's not funny at all."

 Eventually, his laughing came to an end, wiping his eyes of the tears that had appeared after laughing so hard. He smiled at me, a genuine, beautiful smile that blew me away. And then, unexpectedly, he pulled me into a hug. It wasn't just a hug..it was something better. That hug was the start of something so utterly true and real. We held on to each other for a long time, complete silence, but it wasn't awkward or anything. It was just...right.

The rain came to a stop,and that was when we broke apart. When we did, a wave of sadness hit me. Hard. But his words and his smile made me feel better. "I feel exactly the same way as you do, Eliza," he said, grinning at me.

 The butterflies were back.

"Really?" i asked, my face lighting up. I thought I sounded and acted a bit desperate but honestly, I couldn't really think straight. Aaron nodded vigorously. "Yes, Really. I couldn't stop thinking about you from the day I met you. It killed me inside when i saw you with your friends or surrounded by boys..." he said, giving me a look. I blushed and looked away. Gosh, I was blushing a lot today. All because of him.

"and now, I'm just so extremely happy you feel the same way about me," he told me. I smiled shyly and looked down. "Hey, hey...what's wrong?" he asked, putting his thumb on my chin and lifting it up, making me look directly into his eyes. Ah, those heavenly green eyes again. I let out a small laugh. "It's nothing...I'm just happy"



Happy, at last.


Although, that happiness did not last for long...

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FINALLY I AM DONE WITH THIS STORY (at least part one of it hehe)

This, was meant to be a short story that I was supposed to finish in one go...which I obviously did not suceed in accomplishing. hehe. So.......stay tuned for Part 2? I guess lol i mean if you want to....ok.\

The story's meant to be about this girl who lost her sight and Aaron is there for her throughout and one day he dies. So, you think it's fast-paced or anything..it is meant to be a short story after all. There's only part 2 after this so, I should be uploading it.....soon. Bear with me! :-)

 So, anyway, as for updates on my life well nothing much has happened except for absolute shittiness :-) Im running out of objects to lighten my dread. But oh well, what can I do? I've been writing a lot, and wondering...and wondering...hm. I wish i was good at poems. 

Do you believe in 2012? I believe in the end of the world but the end of the world in 2012? hmm. It seems like it's gonna happen, ykw. And i'm just scared that I haven't done enough. and what pisses me off is how I keep on saying I want to do more, and yet I make no effort to do so. it's a habit of mine, and i'm so sick of it. Im sick of myself. 

oh well, this is a promise then. You, this blog, will become witness to my promise:

I promise I'll do my best in my studies, in bringing myself closer to Allah, become a better daughter and become a better friend. 

Wellllllllllll That's all I have haha. Thank you goodbye luvs xx

this is Eliza. ok.